The phrase ‘sleep like a baby’ will never hold the same meaning again. People take it to mean peacefully snoozing away no matter the time or place and sure, sometimes that is how my baby sleeps. But I now know that ‘sleeping like a baby’ can also mean shutting your eyes for five minutes before screaming non-stop for three hours while your frantic mother rocks you back and forth like a zombie while joining in the crying and your neighbours plan more elaborate ways to force you to move out or silence you forever. It can also mean lying on your back for a couple of hours making peculiar grunting noises and straining to pass wind which is only marginally quieter than the crying.
- If you are mother to an erratic sleeper you can’t really plot a nap in. They’ve just shut their eyes, sure, but chances are they could be awake again in 10 minutes so settling down for a nap seems fruitless
- They’ve been screaming / feeding / screaming for hours before said nap. So you’ve been attached to them / pacing the halls holding them. You haven’t eaten, been to the loo, had a drink, showered, cleaned up after the last clothing and nappy change, put the washing on, or sterilised anything that needs sterilising. Sleeping would be marvellous, but how will you be ready to do it all again if you don’t get these things done in this rare moment of peace?
- Sleeping on demand is actually not that easy. Especially when you’re seriously over tired and have one million baby worries racing through your brain.
- Did I mention they’re often asleep on you? You aren’t going to risk moving them or getting yourself more comfortable. It isn’t worth waking the beast.