To all the parents flying solo this Mother’s Day. This one goes out to you. To all the single and solo mums. To the solo dads doing the job of mum and dad and thriving regardless. To my own single mum, Jackie, who taught me that it doesn’t take two parents in a house to make it home and fill it with love, and who set the bar for single motherhood.
To the single mothers who weren’t woken with tea and flowers by a partner and kids but an alarm, a mad scramble and a long drive to YET another cold and muddy football field.
It’s funny how these little landmarks (Mother’s Day, Christmas, birthdays etc) can make you feel in the early days of single motherhood, like you’re doing something wrong, or missing out somehow. But I’m a few years in (or off-script) now, and I love any excuse to celebrate. Because your life might not look the way you thought it would before you had kids. When you were a child yourself, looking forward into the future and picturing things inside the limited box society presents us with. When you thought that Mother’s Day would be spent having a lie-in, breakfast in bed and the Sunday papers, while the kids are entertained, washed and dressed by a partner. But you know what? Waiting 364 days for that lie-in might not be all it’s cracked up to be. This morning, just like any other, as a single mum you can set the agenda and decide what the day will hold. And it’s sure to be filled with noise and laughter and chaos and love.
If you’re having a wobble, go easy on yourself and have a croissant, or three.
Happy mother’s day to all the mums, but mostly to ME because I’m doing the absolute best that I can. (A solid 6/10.)
PS. Sending love also to those without their mums this mother’s day or, unthinkably, without their children. And to those who find today tough, for all sorts of reasons.
Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR