We all know the main causes and solutions for babies crying. But after intensive research I’ve been able to add to the list. Follow these guidelines and your baby will never cry again*.
Encourage them to sleep. This can be hard. Babies are notoriously bad at sleeping when advised/forced to. I can recommend a hairdryer or white noise app played at full blast to confuse them into a deep and peaceful (not for you) sleep.
Some sort of pain/disomfort
Try and identify said pain/discomfort and ease. Do they have a temperature? (Delicious Calpol & possibly a dr visit if yes). Windy? A bit of tummy time and some baby massage.
Too hot/ too cold
Give or take away a blanket. (All this is revolutionary, I know.)
Feels like crying
Explain rationally that crying for no reason is not socially acceptable. At any age.
Your baby doesn’t like you
Buy it a present. Always works with me.
Your baby is expanding their lungs for their future career as an opera singer/ synchronised swimmer
Explain that footballers/ tennis players earn more money and neither require long periods underwater or any noise at all.
Your baby doesn’t like their outfit
Have a word with yourself and get them changed, pronto. Today SO doesn’t feel like a dungaree day, mum.
By this point if your baby is still crying it’s likely issues one-through-nine may have arisen. Best double check to be sure.
Et voila! A contented little baby. Gina Ford eat your heart out.